I know this sounds super corny and lame, and somewhat contradictory to what I usually say in public, but...
I made a wish upon a star.
I've got mixed feelings about this. I feel kinda stupid, like a girl who tries so desperately to fall in love, for dreams to come true, like those "pure, pretty, fair, lovely-non-spectacled girl with huge, lovely eyes" you see in dramas, or shows, anime...those girly shows on kids central...blahblahblah.

But, I also feel a bit like, I've made my wish, and I'm hoping it will come true.

But the weirdest part is, well I dont know if it's some kind of vision or it's just my imagination (most probably the latter, because it's always that).

It goes like this. After I made my wish, I closed my eyes, and then, there was this music coming from the T.V. (my mum was watching this romance show) It was like

I saw one guy, one girl, holding hands. It was at a lake, or more precisely, they were on the lake. there were some waves on the lake (for some reason) and it was at night, late at night, yet I could see them so clearly. The full moon, Luna, was up in the sky, shining bright. The woman had long hair, was wearing a pure white dress, and was really happy. She also happened to be a caucasian. There was also a unicorn in the background.

Then came another "imaginary vision". It was at the ocean. I wasn't on any ship or anything, I was just there. It was beautiful. Glorious sun, shining its golden rays upon the oceans, the reflections glitterly, golden, like thousands of golden pixies dancing upon the waves of the oceans. There was this pirate ship that sunk, and all was well.

Suddenly, two huge waves were rising to the sky. At first it seemed like those lovely waves to show the freedom of the ocean, but then, it was actually, the waves were actually heading towards each other, they collided into each other, with the sun in the middle. I don't really know how to describe this, but...Then the sun disappeared behind the two crashing waves. It wasn't dark, it was just sunless. Then, a rainbow appeared, then fell. Angels began to glare at me, still in their lovely white robes, but they were glaring at me, with blood red glowing eyes. Then, devils rose from the darkness, but they were smiling, and singing. Then the music from the TV stopped, and my "vision" was over.

I dont know if it's supposed to mean anything, like those dreams in the past that told of the future, or it's just some random imaginary things in my head. It's probably the latter, but no matter what it was, I thought it was great to experience this.

I wonder if it's the reflection of my life.

In primary school, I had a nice fun life, quiet, but still exciting, dangerous, but still peaceful.
When I just entered secondary school, it seemed oh so perfect, without these certain people to bother me, and I was able to start anew, new life, new fun. I heard so many stories about secondary school life being fun.
But it wasn't. Those who seemed like angels turned out to be devils (majority of them anyway), and what I thought I hated most soon became something I was so passionate about.


I won't name examples in my real life, nor will i name anything in my "vision" that is analogous to any of the things stated above. (Is this sentence even grammatically correct?! argh! I totally think my English standard is dropping drastically. ARGH!)

Haha. What a weird thing anyway.

After talking to Joy about this on msn, I went to my balcony again, and looked up at the stars. Then, I played this music box music from my music box. (hahaha. looks weird.) Then I closed my eyes. I saw this blurry thing, it was brown, and it had wings. It looked like a disgusting eyeball with wings, but the eye wasnt scary at all, there was a small, almost unoticable heart inside the eye, for the pupils.

Wow. I wonder if it's some kind of gift I have.

Okay. I have decided to give up on her.
I shan't mention her name, BUT.

Okay, i'm not the only one who says this. I've heard from Person A, Person B, Person C, Person D and many more more more people, that she is completely slack and useless during project work.

She exists to be a (censored but not vulgar word.=D)

According to person A, she does absolutely and practically NOTHING during this particular time of day after school that you stay back. it's an ACTIVITY outside CIRRICULUM. And, person A says that this gang of people X hate her.

According to person B and C, she was doing project work with her, and in the end she said she was too busy, then they had to do the whole entire report themselves.

According to person D, who also did project with her, said she NEVER did ANYTHING at all, kept saying she was too busy, and guess what? she had time to play MAPLESTORY, to BLOG, to CHANGE blogskin, to post on her blog about other people, BUT...she had NO TIME to RESEARCH.

HELLO?!

this particular hated person isnt pretty at all. She's got this horribly shaped nose. AND, she's like, a useless idiot. She can't contribute to anything at all, from what i've heard from persons ABCDX and so on.


She thinks people should give her credit. for WHAT? just like...5 suggestions? I can swear i gave out at least THRICE that number. She complains that everyone is to bossy. wow. I wonder if she'll ever get a job with a proper boss.

Sigh. but enough about her. Let's talk about me too.

Even though i'm complaining about someone else, I'm not perfect either.

i think i'm pathetic at cca. but i cant help it! i'm already doing my best. take a look.



joie. says:
feeling sad?

joie. says:
because?

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
i feel like i'm the worst cadet in my squad

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
it's like

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
something you're so passionate in

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
like, say, you and poetry

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
then like

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
shit dammit

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
i cant command properly

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
i suck at first aid

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
and plus

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
I am so irresponsible

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
i left my full-u in school!

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
shao ting had to bring it back for me

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
then, i also left my SJ tee there too!

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
i was like

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
sigh

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
then it was like

joie. says:
aww.

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
today durign OM, which is with my squad,

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
i was like

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
telling my squad

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
I feel very shi1 bai4

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
a total failure

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
then, shao ting was like

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
yeah

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
i agree

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
you're very shi1 bai4

actually, i totally agree with what shao ting said. I cant believe i left parts of my uniform in school. I'm so useless. Even though, I was quite hurt, but I knew what she said was the cold, hard truth.


[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
and i cant command properly

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
i keep stuttering

joie. says:
man.

joie. says:
don't think too badly about it.

joie. says:
sometimes it's difficult to command, isn't it?

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
i feel like a total failure

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
no, it's like, i suddenly forgot the numbers

[NYSJ] Ŀфяя® Esophoria says:
you're supposed to say like

joie. says:
i hear the girls in the uniform groups commanding and it's like. whoa.

But of course, Joy helped me feel better. I LOVE YOU JOY!! you're always there for me, even though you were appearing offline when i was looking for you. HAHAAHHAHA. Thanks ever so much!

OMG. This is a very very very long post. should i stop? haha.

I shall.

Accidentally in love. With NYSJAB.

I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really LOVE NYSJAB. I've never known something else that i've been so passionate about.

I love all members of my squad. I'm so grateful to my sec 3 seniors. I'm even more grateful to my NCOs, who are so disappointed in me, but they're still willing to teach me and help improve my footdrill and first aid skills. As for the year one squad, well, i'm going to bond with you soon =D.

This is a dedication to the one thing i'm so passionate about.

My Sec 3 seniors, thanks so much for "buddying" me when i was still so immature and didn't know anything about SJAB. Thanks for giving me hinters about SJAB, about how to cope with the ex-NCOs, and giving us so many boot polishing sessions, and buying lots of the required stuff for us.

I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but:
Thank you, my NCOs. For not giving up on me, even though I command weirdly, and my footdrill isn't up to your standard. But i'm doing the best I can, so thanks for helping me improve.

(hey, if i typed this out, and one of the NCOs saw, will i get in trouble?? gulp.)

But most of all, thank you, my dearest dearest dearest squadmates.

First time i saw wai tiem, she was a girl whose name i couldnt pronounce.
Now, she's part of the quiz team, and she helps me so many times.

First time i saw sinying, she was a retarded odie.
Now, she's still a retarded odie, but she's the retarded odie that i love. She's also a person who dislikes hugs. haha

First time i saw sharon, she was a pretty little retard.
Now, she's still a pretty retard, just that she ain't little no more. She's the best cadet of HQ. (she was given that award.) She's also a particular NCO's no. 1 fan!!

First time i saw jia jun, she was a person who wanted to appeal to C.O.
Now, she still wants to quit, but she's hanging on. She's also our squad i/c.

First time I saw Geng yu, I thought she was, well, just another member of SJAB.
Now she's so cute, with nice fluffy cheeks. And she's a good commander too! Plus, she's always there when i need help. And she likes my hugs!

First time i saw angie, i couldnt differentiate her from Jiang Yin.
Now she's another (mini) fan of Naruto, and hana kimi!!(as well as geng yu) and she's my only other squadmate for our monday room duty. She likes hugss! (not just from me, but from everyone!)

First time i saw jiang yin, i couldnt differentiate her from Angie.
Now, she's a very very very good first aider. She's also good at footdrill. She's also niceee, and always there when i need help. She likes my hugs too!

First time I saw Shao Ting, well, actually the first time i saw her was in Learning Point, just before she quit. I just thought of her as a person from ai tong.
Now, she's another senior-crazy person, just like me. She's so good at footdrill, first aid, and she's very cool too! haha. She's also my beloved squadmate who helped me bring my Full-U!!

First time I saw Hui Yee, well, she was TALL.
Now, well, she's still tall. But wai tiem's getting taller than her! haha. And she's the one who loves her brother and all her godbrothers. She's also our right marker. =D

First time I saw Priscilla, actually it was in p4. I thought that she was incapable of hating anyone. haha.
Now, she's so funky, loud, funny, and she's proven me so so so wrong. She hates a certain someone, but it doesnt matter. As long as she loves me, and I love her. She's the one who likes to STUDY!

First time i saw Zhi-Yi, she was just another member of SJAB.
Now, she's the one i always look for in the morning, for someone to talk to, and hugs! She's always there, someone for me to talk to. She's my belovedddd squadmate!!!! And, we both have the same dream - to join comp team. (just that i don't know if, with my current standard, I can make it)(sighh)

First time I saw jeraldine, well, she was short, and tanned.
Now, she's my beloved lao pa, a good footdriller, a good ex-squad i/c, and she's so humorous. And she's so good at memorising things, (which reminds me, we have TOC theory test tomorrow and KOTO test on 3rd march), and she's well, good at whacking me.


Yepp. Those are all my 12 squadmates, excluding PRCs. Of course, I have more dedications to other people outside SJAB. But, setting aside that,


I LOVE NYSJAB!

And

I WILL WORK HARD ON MY FOOTDRILL, COMMANDS, FIRST AID, TOC, AND CADET PROFICIENCY BADGES. I WILL ALSO TRY MY BEST NOT TO FALL SICK.


NYSJABNYSJABNYSJABNYSJAB
NYSJAB
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NYSJABNYSJAB
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NYSJABNYSJAB
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NYSJABNYSJAB
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NYSJABNYSJAB
NYSJABNYSJAB
NYSJAB

Come he from far land of Thee, Thank Thee for the presence of he.
We females of the land below, have been granted above help from he fellow
Mystical Snakes and Flying Stones, Thank Thee for granting us his bones.




Isn't this such a nice and beautiful nice rhyming poem? I made it up myself, for our OM. And in case this is your first time to my blog, I write poetry. Not very well, impressive ones, i must say. I keep feeling that my poetry lacks this essence. I think it lacks language. Oh, I don't know. Sometimes I really don't know what to say. I'm always at a loss for words.

I like Welcome to my black parade by My Chemical Romance. Nice song. Thank you Sinying, my dear squadmate and classmate, for sending me this song.

And, to more pressing matters. Zhang Lao Shi says that Fire drill's tomorrow. AHHH! my TOC still sucks. I think that's why they put me as a runner. then again, priscilla's TOC is so good, but she's a runner too. Hmm...I wonder how they categorized us? haha.

Well, I just hope I can do well in the TOC theory test this friday, and the KOTO test on 3rd march. I wonder if we have to go to HQ for the KOTO test? hmm........

Wow. compared to the last post, this is really short. haha. But it doesnt matter. No one reads this except for myself. I sometimes ask my friends to come over to my blog and take a look, but majority of them (maybe even all of them) would just look at the blogskin and tag. Haha.

And POOF. With the big bang, along came Soulsciality!
Wait, what's Soulsciality? Well, since i'm a funky sassae, I tend 'ta mix things together.
With a lil' bit of my beautiful soul and some nice sounding words, I produced
"SOULSCIALITY" which is actually a mix between "soul" and "social" and "society".
Hey come on, I mean they all start with "SO" right? And if you're thinking of saying
"So what?!"
Then I'll just answer
"So SO!" Because the word "SO" is a common word that dangles from the average
teen's mouth, I might as well add it into the name of this fantastic, super, awesome,
kira-kira, gorgeous, lovely blog!

I'm so funny and funkae!


It's been 13 minutes since I typed out the exclamation mark. I went off to watch The Arena. Mum's requirement of me. (Was that even grammatically correct? Forgive me, but my English Language skills have been really off lately.)

Oh yes, one more thing. How could I forget?!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

And another thing. As much as I hate to admit this, Britney Spears is the inspiration for me to start this new blog. I just saw an article on page 7 of Life! today. I read about the mishaps she went through. Okay, so the word Mishaps is an understatement. Hey come on, having sex with Timberlake, kissing Madonna, Marrige and divorce in 55 hours, marrige and pregnancy in 2004, nearly dropping her child Sean, being voted Worst Dressed with that horrible "making-your-hips-and-ass-look-fat-horrible-brown" dress with so many disgusting frills and laces, I mean, well you can't call those mishaps. But I seriously don't know what to call 'em. So let's just call them "mishaps".

If you're thinking that those "mishaps" were my inspiration to begin this blog, well, think again. No, they're only a small part of what inspired me. Actually it was her shaving her hair off. I don't know what the heck is going on in Spears's mind, but I sure do know what's going on in mine. In the article, with quotes like "She was screaming and flipping out from the pain and wiggling her body all around" by Hughes, I couldn't help thinking, does this mean it's the beginning of another beginning? By shaving off that ugly blonde hair that went with her through all her "mishaps", she's trying to grow a new lock of beautiful golden hair that signifies the birth of a brand new phoenix. Is that what's going on?

Wow. What a long chunk of stuff I've typed out. I just hope that no one views this and no one's going to write on Straits Times with the headline "TEEN BLOGGER TALKS ABOUT SPEARS NEW HEAD" or something. You know, like that RJC girl and her eliteness (uggh) and that one featured in our NYGH PCCG book about "Bitc* slap those Nanyang Girls"... well, i just gotta be careful with what I blog. I mean, I'm not the only one viewing this blog. This ain't no private journal. This is just a web log with a nice cute/pretty blogskin that you show off to your buds and ask them to flood your tagboard. Well at least, it is to me.

Back to Spears. For some reason, I see her in myself. I'm not going to be too reflective, because, as I've said above, this isn't a private journal. Anyway, it's like Spears started out fantastic, with a nice hot body and nice cool songs. Just like me, I started out great in primary school with cool friends and hotter friends. Then came Britney's breakdown. All her "mishaps". Just like me, when I entered Secondary School, I was the first one to be hated in my class. Someone went on the blog tagboard with tags like "Laura Hater says: BURN LAURA!!" and stuff. And i barely had any friends until later on in the year, not counting my dear squadmates. Then this year, I've started out quite well, with only a few friends in my class, but 12 other squadmates (excluding PRCs) to always look to when I'm troubled. I've started out quite well. No failures so far, except for that Bio W.S. that I got 10/20. A new start. As for Britney Spears, she's shaved her head, of that ugly blonde hair and those horrible memories of the pain she's gone through. She's free now, and free to begin a new. She's got no hair on her head now, but she's got a smile on her face now. And I think this wasn't a smile meant for the paparazzi (spelling?) or the tabloids. It was a smile for herself. At least I think so. Who knows what might be going on in Britney's head?

If her shaving off her hair symbolizes "I need more attention" or something else, well, I was never her fan before anyway, so she didn't make a loss.
If her shaving off her hair symbolizes "No-hair-New-start", then Britney Spears, you've got yourself a true fan.


Anyway, that's that for the inspiration part.

Here's another thing that happened today. It's called "Sorry Jia Jun".

Okay, Jia Jun, I know as the squad I/C you have lots of responsibilties. And I also know you probably won't come to this blog, but i'm posting anyway. I shall copy and paste from the forum, because the one in the forum is the most sincere comment, and I cant type out something like that again unless i'm in that FEEL.

No one gets what I'm saying, do they?

Anyway:


Sorry Jia Jun, but we really couldnt take it. Some of the comments I said, i didnt really mean it. half of it was practice for when i get promoted, (like scolding, that's what shao ting and prisci and i were doing) and the other half was because you kept pestering us about who hated you.
Truth is, when you know someone hates you, I know it's tough for you lah, I mean i know how it feels. I was the first one to be hated in my class. They were even saying things like "laura hater says: BURN LAURA!" on the class blog tagboard. But, i never even found out who that laura hater was, and look at how happy and hyper and utterly senior crazy i've become. Being hated shouldn't affect your life.
So stop asking who hates you, and start answering "I like you."
Liking someone is better than hating someone, so...
And sorry lah, because we really couldnt take it, you saying that you hated NCOs. Because we're passionate about SJ, and we couldnt stand you insulting something that we're passionate about. Try and understand more about NYSJ, and understand how we feel, instead of continuing to insult our beloved CCA, and respect the seniors more often. I'm sure that's what we all want.

And sorry I was rather loud at you.

Basically, Sorry.




Yeah. Same thing.

AND one last thing.

SQUADMATES! IT'S BEEN LESS THAN 4 DAYS, BUT I STILL MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH!! I LOVE YOU GUYS FOREVER!!

Lorro

like, OMG
When I see hotness, I SHRIEK
When I see cuteness, I SQUEEE
When I see ugly, I avoid.
When I see bastards, I slap
When I see you, I sigh.

This is
me.
103'06 203'07<3
314'08 <3
NYSJ YR 3'08<3
Your typical hell-rocker
Hot guy-ogler
Your best babe and sugar.


But I still wish for that Peter Pan to sprinkle fairy dust on me, and carry me bridal style off to Neverland.

In the end, I'm still

me


203'07 <3
Cherylin
Jia Wen
Kim
Lannie
Lannie's photos
Ah Xuan
MC
Rachel Sim
Shi Yun
Stephvers
Tong
Wanda
YQ
Ytene
203'07 <3

314'08 <3
Eewei
Alicia
Nicolette

NYSJ YR3'08 <3
Sharon
Sinying
Priscilla
Shao Ting
Geng Yu
Hui Yee
Angie
Jeraldine

6E'05 <3
Nat
Nat
Tane
Nish
Qing
6E'05

Others <3
Joie
Geoff
Greg
Ms Teng
Lorro(:





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