Disease
Saturday, 24 March 2007
♥ 20:57
Sorry Tane. Your archives code doesn't seem to work on my blog. I'm really sorry.
I know nothing about love. I might be experiencing it now, I might be giving it to others now, I might be receiving it now, but I don't understand it.
Love,
The silent killer of souls.
The reviver of the tortured.
The blood upon her hands.
Of lust, Of pain
Of Love.
I don't understand love. Why do people always connect love with lust? Love kills, yet brings people to life.
I don't understand growing up.
I want to remain naive, simple-minded and carefree.
I want to remain loved, and loving.
I want to remain cute and stupid.
I want to remain as a child.
But I know that will never happen.
Betrayal and pain.
The phone rings again. An angry voice, of hate and frustration, of pain and torture lies 2000 km away. His voice brings tears to her eyes. I thought this kind of thing only happened in movies. Guess my life is a movie. I am the protagonist of the stoy, left to follow what the author has written, without my consent. To abide by the laws of the book, the book of my life, over which i have no control.
They want to send me to the boarding school.
They want me to remain here.
They want me to go to Hong Kong.
They don't want me to remain here.
But,
I just want to remain a child.
When they'd argue, I'd play five stones in a corner.
When they'd shout, I'd think they were laughing.
I want to remain stupid. Unknowing. Naive.
I want to think that people are kind, gentle deep within. I want to think that people wouldn't betray, because they didn't have the heart to do it. I want to remain as a child.
I don't want to grow.
I don't care if I don't turn strong. I don't want to be independant. I want a shoulder to rely on. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be confused any longer, muddled and mixed up, because of what's going on outside my solitary world.
Help.
